Convenient, Easy, Probably Unhealthy Tofu Toaster Scramble(r) Ripoffs

This one's a no-brainer. A very tasty no-brainer.

1. Go to your friendly Asian grocery
   
2. Go to the tofu section
   
3. Find the packages of "Age Tofu" (formally "Agedashi tofu," sometimes written "Agé," pronounced -- without irony -- like "ah, gay tofu"). 
   

You'll see little puffs of fried tofu about the size and shape of playing cards and 1/4-1/2" thick. At Uwajimaya today, these were four for a buck and change or a dozen for three bucks and something. 

If you're a sushi fan, you may know these as the puffs that are bisected, sweetened, and filled with sushi rice to make Inari, which is Japanese for "the only thing a vegan can grab with any confidence from the sushi conveyor belt/train/boat."

Age tofu isn't naturally sweet, so when you buy it in the store, it's pretty much a naked omelet already. To start making it into a tasty breakfast treat, you can do any of these:

• Cut it in two pieces; open the cut side of each piece with your fingers to make two small pockets
  
• Cut an opening along one edge; open the whole thing with your fingers, keeping the other edges intact, to make the whole thing one pocket
  
• Slice it down the middle like you were slicing a hamburger bun, fillings-retaining pocket effect be damned
  

Now that you have some fillings-ready tofu, fire up some fillings. 

Fillings suggestions:

• veggie ham and veggie cheese
  
• sauteed onions and mushrooms, with or without veggie cheese
  
• thinly sliced mushrooms and fresh herbs
  
• veggie sausage and cooked or canned potatoes
  
• peppers and onions (vegan Denver)
  
• spinach with veggie cheese and herbs (vegan Florentine)
  
• creepy, frozen or vacuum-packed veggie meat substitutes from the Asian store with suspiciously misspelled ingredients lists, grilled

Because the finished omelet cooks for under a minute in the mike, you'll probably want to saute, steam, or bake anything that needs more heat and TLC (like onions, potatoes, peppers, or anything frozen) before you use it in the omelet.

Stuff the stuff into the tofu and cook, using one of these methods: 

• Nukerowave oven: wrap in a paper towel and cook for 45 seconds
• Oven or toaster oven: Wrap loosely in foil and bake at 400F for 5 minutes 
• Pan-fry: medium heat for 4-5 minutes (the fried tofu already has enough oil that you shouldn't have to spray the pan)

Enjoy with some million-grain toast and Earth Balance with a side of Walla Walla onion hashbrowns.